wrestling with doubts

just what the title says...i'm wrestling with doubts...about life and ministry and direction and calling...

it shouldn't be surprising or anything because it happens every so often...i guess its just been a long time since its happened last...but, every time it does, my mind begins to swirl and i question what the heck i'm doing here...not what i'm doing in tucson, but what i'm doing in ministry...and if this is really what God wants me doing...these questions arise and its overwhelming to me...

i don't even like talking about it...i don't like going in depth about it because it sounds crazy and stupid to me, so what is going to sound like to someone else, right?

i didn't go in depth about it this morning as i talked to a friend about it, but i wanted to scream and pull my hair out (if i had any)...seriously, is this what ministry is like? doubts and questions and uncertainty? there are times i love it...and others i'd rather be doing something completely different...does that mean that i'm really called or not?

so, i'm circling my thoughts now....and i'm getting no where...